013: new song

1:30am
on my way home tonight my player was on random mode and it consecutively gave me three sappy songs by sinatra, vienna teng, and a track from a korean melodrama album.

the jeepney driver was having his own music session too but with my headphones on, i can only feel the thud thud thud of his speakers on my butt.

and then a funny thing happened - the hiphop beats i feel on my butt blended well with the sappy trio.
both were rhythmically playing in my ears


at around 1:35am the universe conspired to play its own mixed cd.

at around 1:40am, my jeep was flying along quirino highway, and i listened to a korean singer wailing of a broken heart, on the spot remixed.

toogs toogs toogs everyone. good night.

012: this is for you, on a rainy night.

sometimes i wonder
if you can read me.

if you can go beyond the layers
of everyday eccentricities
that i so diligently place over myself.
the thoughts
the stories
the poems
i place in front of what i really feel.

sometimes i wonder
if you can read me.

to reach me, and stubbornly insist
that we sit down
hide our clocks
and
just
see.

oh you with those knowing eyes and the cautious smile.
you with that careless laughter and funny frown
you effortlessly interchange
whenever i try
to describe
the things i see
from where i sit.

sometimes i wonder
if you can read me.

i'll tell you a story.
find me.

011:si lola elang at ang suman

magaling gumawa ng suman ang lola ko.

random shuffling of my hair
pinching my arms
calloused hands
ventolin inhaler
imported candies perpetually displayed in locked glass cabinets
kumusta ka na, ilang taon ka na (repeat everytime we meet)
linoleum covered makeshift dining table
knowing and glowing eyes behind thick glasses
inch-thick drinking glass
checking if the towel on my back is soaked wet
laughing while speaking in Ilocano
imported chocolates to be handed to me right before we leave for Manila
coughing while laughing
laughing while coughing


hi lola,
save us a good spot in Aslan's land.
we'll miss you.
regards to lolo.

010: about the long commute and many other things

one thing M and I both love about the long commute to work/home is that we get the chance to read a book, listen to an entire album or form stories in our heads using the people around us as characters.

==

lately i've been thinking about relationships.

i don't know how we got that but most of the time we are very protective of ourselves when it comes to new people we meet.

perhaps when we start tearing down our wall of expectations, only then can we see and appreciate people for who they really are.

good things start from there.
acceptance is a prelude to beautiful things.

009: something to listen / something to read:

this is from an interview with Switchfoot's Jon Foreman:

Enough to Let Me Go.


"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." --Carl Jung

"Faith is the highest passion in a human being. Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further." --Soren Kierkegaard

This one started with the guitar hook I came up with during sound-check; however, most of the song took shape in a hotel room in Australia. I was thinking about how love (not just lust or codependency that commonly flood the tunes on the airways) actually involves quite a bit of faith. There's a lot of letting go involved. Two souls in love is an intricate dance of give and take. I can be a fairly solitary person from time to time. Sure, I love being with people, but I also need time alone. I guess I thrive on the poles. So this song is about the dance involved in a relationship the coming together and letting go. The song equates love with breathing- pulling in and releasing. Or a seed, for the seed to grow it has to be dropped and buried.

In our barcode media, love is often portrayed as consumption. As consumers in a commercial driven culture we can begin to view other souls as objects, or potential cures for our deepest fears and insecurities. "Perhaps if I found the right lover I would no longer feel this deep existential despair." But of course no human soul could be the Constant Other, the face that will never go away. Only the infinite can fill that role. But the silence can be deafening. It's a fearful thing to be alone. Do you love me enough to let me go? "I can't live without you" - "I would die if you ever left me" - These are not the songs of love, these are the songs of consumption.

======

listen to the album and read through the article. good soul food.:)

008 i have dirty hands most of the time.

that's me reading George Martin, with a warm blanket and feeling a bit sleepy



when i wiggle my fingers those missiles dance out of control


the bring it on creature


the happy dazed creature


this was supposed to be a baby.

007 run run run

kaninang umaga may nakita akong matandang metro aide na inaayos ang kaniyang walis tingting. nakakalas ang walis, at iniisa isa niyang pinagpapantay pantay lahat bag bigkisin muli.

kaya ko na ang dalawang ikot sa active park ng dirediretsong takbo!! yahu. sana bukas makatatlo na ako.:)

may nagtanong sa akin kanina kung nasaan ang AIM. sinagot ko ng ingles. okaaay naman, baligtad lang ang sabi ko dapat yung left, right. tumakbo na lang ako palayo nung marealize ko.

ano pa ba magandang running song?

006